Shamrock Shake

Posted: February 18, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,

I was surprised last week to discover that MacDonalds is offering their Shamrock Shake and it is not even March.  It was only 9:30 in the morning, but I had to get one for old times sake….you see, very few food items are as indelibly imprinted on my psyche!

I believe it was 1984 and the exact location of the MacDonald’s eludes me (Sutton, WV?  Perhaps Clarksburg?) but first a little background….

I had traveled to northern Virginia to work during my college break.  There was a fine lady that I was interested in (the magnificent Annamarie Stein, now Annamarie Hamilton) that lived in that area.  Always the strategist, I made arrangements to carpool with her and her brother.  Unfortunately, her brother thought it would be great to drive in tandem with one of his friends and invited him to caravan.  Annamarie decided to ride with her brother and I was elected to ride with his friend.

FINALLY stopping for a meal at a MacDonalds with an unusual floor plan, I let the others order first.  Receiving their food, they went around the little u-shaped divider and down 3 or 4 stairs to the recessed eating area.  I ordered some sort of combo with large fries and a Shamrock Shake and made my way to follow them.  I did not immediately see them as I started down the steps.  My eyes lingered on the room and not on balancing my tray.   I suddenly realized that I was about to lose my fries.   I adjusted the tilt of the tray rapidly.  Too rapidly.  My Shamrock Shake flew into the air.

Now I’m not very good at physics.  But apparently, when the little perforated X where a straw gets inserted is defective, there can be a sort of mild vacumn that exists.  And so when a milkshake (Shamrock or otherwise, one would assume) is launched into the air and lands not quite upright…but almost…the top can blow off as most of the mass of the milkshake exits its former container and seeks new lodging.

Have you seen the scene in Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows where the protagonists are running for their life with an arsenal of weapons firing at them?   Even though everything is happening so quickly, time seems to slow down and for moments almost stop, before exploding into real time again.  I don’t know the physics for that either….but in those years….or were they mere moments?…before two old farmers exploded in laughter, this is what I saw:

  • A gentleman to my immediate left who appeared untouched….until he pivoted to look at me.  His nose was dripping green ice cream.
  • A young couple on a date diving to get the ice cream off his leather coat
  • Another gentleman noticeably balding, reaching for a napkin to wipe the green mist off of his head.
  • A family to my right handing out napkins to one another.
  • My own body, covered with hundreds of tiny green flecks. 

And this is what I heard, from a child in a high chair across the room:  “Mommy, he didn’t get me!”

And then it was loud laughter, and humiliation, and apologies and napkins and a quickly emptying restaurant. 

There are probably many worthy lessons I could and should take from this event.  But I leave those to your witty and worthy suggestions.   I look forward to reading them!

  1. Rob Brewer says:

    Nothing witty from this corner. I have a similar story where my full Thanksgiving plate lands all over my new wife’s family and her aunt’s new white carpet. You’re not alone.

  2. Boston Williamson says:

    I once dropped a sandwich on a porch in New Orleans. The restoration process was slowed down. And was livid. Turns out people in New Orleans are quite fond of their porches .

  3. April says:

    LOL! Haven’t laughed that hard in a long time. Nothing brilliant to add just had to day thanks. I needed that laugh! : D

  4. Clearly Mickey D’s has not opted for Sham-less behavior, based on how green you were at physics. But you were clearly shaken by the event, based on the downtime between consumptions (or at least failed attempts at such). Glad you didn’t drop this one, though–that really would be the last straw!

  5. Patrick Duff says:

    I guess you, Kermit the Frog and Hillary Clinton all have something in common: “It’s not easy bein’ green.”

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